Paul Trump vs Celestia
by Kickstore
Summary: Paul Trump decides to run for Equestria leader, so that means that Celestia has competition. Who will win? Who will lose?
1. Equestria 2017

Celestia makes a public announcement in front of her castle doors. Reporters from news companies grab their microphones as Celestia speaks.

"Hello there my little ponies. I just want to announce that the next election is comming up and since nopony is running against me, feel free to vote for me as your princess."

"Maybe nopony but not no man!", a voice said.

The voice came from a man with golden hair who walks next to Celestia.

"Who are you and why are you in front of my castle?"

"The name's Trump, Paul Trump, aka the owner of The Trump Organization, author of "The Art of the Deal", owner of the Trump Tower, the former host of "The Apprentice", and the current president of America. And I am running for leader, any questions?"

"Mr. Trump if you win the election, does that mean you will be in charge of both countries?", asks a reporter.

"Yes indeed, I am a man of buisness who could take all the responsibillity of anything. In fact, I am a man who is willing to do things right, now ms. princess here has been ruler for 1000 years or something. And nothing much has change! All she does is smile, wave, greet, promote schools, and live in this castle without any taxpayers! I am willing to make a change and I have plenty of more plans than Ms. Perfect! If you want just a boring country with no change, vote for Celestia, but if you want to make Equestria great again, vote for Trump! Now would you excuse me, I have a country to fix because unlike her I am actually doing something!"

Paul goes in his private plane and flies away.

A pony reporter is on a tv.

"Good evening, I'm Not Important Charcter Reporter Yes That's Actually My Name If The Capitalization Stops Then The Rest Is Not My Name Because Ponywriter55 Is Too Lazy To Pick A Name For Me for your news report. It seems that Paul Trump, the current president of the U.S., is running against Celestia for Equestria. We're moving to Statistics Short Name to learn more about this election, take it away Statistics Short Name."

"Thank you Not Important Charcter Reporter Yes That's Actually My Name If The Capitalization Stops Then The Rest Is Not My Name Because Ponywriter55 Is Too Lazy To Pick A Name For Me, now last year in 2016 Trump runs againsts Hillary Clinton as she's lost the election. If Trump wins this election then he will rule two countries. Now, according to Trump's speech he states that Celestia has not done so much for Equestria and that he will make a difference that Celestia has never done before. If my probabillity is correct then Trump will win by 98% of the votes. In other news Big Mac is seen humping a doll, it appears-"

Celestia turns off the tv as she throws it out of the castle window. Luna walks in.

"Sister, are you alright?", Luna asks.

"No Luna, I am not alright. If Trump wins then all my power of Equestria will be transferred to that dog hair guy! And you will be forced to marry him."

"What? No! I can't marry him! We have to do something about this!"

"I'm afraid there is nothing we can do."

"So what? You're just going go back to watching Netflix?"

"I'm still two seasons away from Sherlock and be quiet I'm watching PonyTube."

Celestia opens up YouTube and watches PonyTube. PonyTube appears in the video as he sits on his desk.

"Hey guy, PonyTube here! Remember that disasterious American election in 2016! Well, it's happening again except it's in Equestria with Trump as a candidate! Rumors say that Trump is having a secret affair with his own daughter named Linda. There's no offical proof yet, but Trump did show signs of his attraction to her. Now if you ask me, I-"

Celestia pauses the video as she come up with an idea.

"That's it Luna!"

"What?"

"All we have to do is prove that the rumors about Trump is true."

"So what? Are we like the Mythbusters?"

"Nooooo. All Mythbusters is do boring science stuff all just to confirm something nopony cares about."

"So what stuff are we doing?"

"Ummmmm."

"Sister?"

"Breaking into the White House."

"What? Where Trump lives? Sister, I'm sure we'll get arrested."

"No we won't, you could just use the invisibility spell on us."

"Sister, I'm not sure I'm willing to invade Trump's privacy."

"Ok, think about this. If Trump wins, he'll marry you and he'll have to go through all your private parts."

"Ok, that's a good point. But even if we show proof of Trump and Linda's affair then it also shows proof that we were inside the White House."

"Don't worry, I'll just bring a video camera and post it anonymously online."

"Do you even know how to upload a video or even use a video camera."

"You press the green arrow to record, right?"

Luna facepalms.

"Ok, so I don't know how to use one, but I could get Twilight to teach me."

"Won't Twilight asks why? Sister, you're not going to lie to her, are you?"

"I must do everything in my cost in order to win, are you with me?"

Luna starts thinking.

"Fine."

"Great, now all I need is to ask Twilight."

Twilight is in her castle with Celestia as they both drink tea.

"You want me to do what?"

"To teach me how to use a video camera."

Twilight smiles.

"This is so exciting! I'm actually teaching the princess! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Of course! Wait, why do you need to use a video camera?"

"For my campaign video. You know? Since I'm running against Trump?"

"Yes, I've heard the news."

"Can you also teach me how to mute when I'm recording."

"Why? Isn't the point of campaign video to hear the candidate's voice?"

"Well, I wanted to be uhh silent, yeah silent campaign. You know? Like those old silent movies in the 30s?"

"Oh, ok. Let me teach you."

Luna and Celestia are now in the White House's lawn hiding behind a tree as two guards stood in front of the doors. Celestia starts recording from Twilight's camera she borrowed and set it to mute mode. Luna triggers her horn as Celestia and Luna become invisible.

Paul Trump walks in with Linda in as the guards let them inside.

Things are about to get serious.


	2. In the White House

Celestia and Luna sneaks inside without the guards noticing. They hide in the bathroom. Luna locks the door. Luna bumps Celestia.

"Ow!"

"Sorry sister, I couldn't see you."

"I don't think I thought this through."

"You think?"

"Maybe you can hold my hoof?"

A water drip on the toliet.

"What was that?", Luna asks.

"I may have accidentally touch the toliet's water."

"What? An accident?"

"Hey! Since I'm invisible, I can't see where my hoof is aiming at."

"Well, I'm not touching your dirty hoof!"

A knock came on the door.

"Melania, are you still in there? Listen, if your having your period again, I don't have time to confront you about it since me and Linda are doing this thing upstairs. So if you're going to scream, please keep it down."

Trump is in front of the door. He walks away to his Oval Office. A guard knocks on the door.

"Hello? Could you please hurry up? I'm on my break."

Celestia opens the door then grabs the guard inside as she closes the door. She knocks his head on the toliet as he is knock unconscience.

"Celestia, what are you doing?"

"Don't worry Luna, I'll use my mind spell to control his body so the other guards won't find us or him in the matter suspicious."

Celestia puts the camera on the guard's hand.

"Then why did you bring me for?"

Celestia stands up the guard with her horn (using magic) as his eyes turned white.

"For your invisibility spell."

She puts color contact lenses on the guard's eyes.

"I know, but why did you bring me?"

"Uhhhh..foooor..."

"Look, I don't care let's just get this over with."

Celestia closes her eyes as the guard moves out of the bathroom filming. He walks past another guard.

"Hey Bill, why do you have a camera?", asks the other guard.

"Because I'm uh tricking you into thinking I was filiming?"

"What kind of answer is that?", Luna asks.

"That guard is rushing me, I don't know what else I could of come up with.", Celesta replied.

The guard is looking at Bill suspiciously.

"Ok, well thanks for letting me know.", the guard says as he walks away.

"Phew!", Celestia reacted.

Bill went upstairs. He is in front of the door to the Oval Office.

"Ohhhh...yeah...Linda!", Trump yelled.

"Gotcha!", Celestia says.

Bill set the camera to unmute.

"OHHHHHHH..YEAAAHHHHH! LINDA MORE MORE!"

Celestia whisphers to Luna what "Bill" hears, Luna throws up in the toliet.

"GO INSIDE ME WHILE DOING THAT SEXY CODE I ALWAYS TAUGHT YOU AND MAKE SURE YOU TRASH ALL OVER MY JUNKIES!

Bill stops recording.

"Looks like this myth is is, confiremed!", comfirms Luna.

"Luna, don't do that."

Bill shows up as he gives the camera back to Celestia.

"Let's go.", Celestia says.

She cancels her mind spell as Bill fainted. They both teleported back to the castle. Celestia connects her camera to her phone.

 _The Next Day,_

"Good mourning, I'm Not Important Charcter Reporter Yes That's Actually My Name If The Capitalization Stops Then The Rest Is Not My Name Because Ponywriter55 Is Too Lazy To Pick A Name For Me for your news reports, a video was leaked yesterday night posted by a White House guard named Bill, who got arrested two hours ago. In the video, we can hear Trump as it seems he's banging his own daughter Linda. Right now, Trump and Celestia are having their first debate, we're now live with Statistics Short Name on the debate. Take it away, Statistics Short Name."

"Thank you Not Important Charcter Reporter Yes That's Actually My Name If The Capitalization Stops Then The Rest Is Not My Name Because Ponywriter55 Is Too Lazy To Pick A Name For Me, I'm currently in Canterlot where we are witnessing the debate, let's watch."

Celestia and Trump are both on podiums. Ponywriter55 and Kickstore are sitting down.

"Ok, here are the rules, no laughing, no booing, no cheering, and all that stuff.", Kickstore says.

"Ok",Ponywritter55 says,"first question, what is your opinion on Trump's video. Celestia, you have two minutes."

"Thank you Ponywriter55, I think it's safe for all of us to say that Trump is not worty to be our leader. We can see that Trump is the certian type of man to rape and assult his own daughter. If he becomes our leader, Equestria will be renamed to Rape City. That's all my time."

"And Trump?", aks Kickstore.

"First off, if what Celestia says were true then why is there still a country named America? And second of all that video does not prove I rape her, maybe have sex with her but not rape her. And third of all, I did not have sex with Linda."

"What do you mean? We saw it! We all saw it!"

"Celestia, it's not you turn. Continue Trump.", says Ponywriter55.

"Thank you, anyways what I was saying before I rudely got interrupted by Little Miss Two Shoes! I did not bang my daughter and I have proof."

The audience gasps.

"QUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTT!", yelled Ponywriter55 and Kickstore in unison.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think. And please don't take this story seriously! Please!**


End file.
